A “ding” is another name in World of Warcraft for when you level up...which my character is seen doing here. This was my ding for level 49, so I am one away from 50, which represents an important milestone for my character. If you are part of a guild and you ding, the other members are notified and you get the traditional reply of “Grats!” when it happens. It’s a fun feeling of community, and one of the reasons I love the game so much. Often times I will be on a quest, and another player will be nearby. One of us will ask the other “ hey, are you on such-and-such quest?” and if you are on the same one you can team up...two swords are better than one, for sure. Two strangers from different parts of the real world join up and play together, completing the quest, and then you say your thanks and go your seperate ways. Or many times I will see a player in over their head and come charging in to the rescue, which can be a lot of fun, and plenty of people did it for me when I first started. I have no idea who these people are, where they live or shat they do, and it doesn’t matter. When I started I relied on the help of others quite a bit, and the guild I used to belong to was a huge help, as were several real life friends that would go with me on quests and help me along. I try to do that now, and if a lower level character asks me for help I always assist if I can. I used to be a frightened noob afraid of almost everything...there are lots of things in Azeroth ready to eat you, and it can be a bit scary at times for a beginner. Now I stomp all over, accepting quests and gaining experience, and now I’m almost over the hump to level 50 and on my way to that all important and defining level...70. Of course as you progress leveling gets harder and harder and takes longer, so the longest part of that is still ahead of me. And of course the tasks (and monsters) put before me are getting tougher as I gain experience. All in all it’s a big hoot, and I look forward to all the fun (and scary) stuff ahead.

There, I said it. I'm a dude, and I pee sitting down. Now it's out there.

Why am I bringing this up? I was at a friend's the other day I excused myself to the restroom. When I rejoined my pal, he said "didn't you go? I didn't hear you." Most guys go standing up, so I guess he expected some noise. I assured him that yes I went, but I had gone sitting down and for exactly that reason, so he couldn't hear me. I for one don't enjoy hearing guys making a thunderous splash in the bathroom. He made a joke about me going "girly style" so I pressed him for the advantage to going standing up, and of course he had no argument. Is it just to see your wang? Well I'm 38, and I know what my wang looks like, thank you, I don't need to get reacquainted with it as I maintain my aim. True, most men pee standing up but in my opinion, this has the potential to make a mess. How many times has a guy friend used my bathroom (or yours) and later you see a drop or two on the seat, the floor, or god forbid the rug? Too many times! Sometimes a guy has no control over where that first bit of tinkle goes, and then you have a mess to clean up. Don't you love it when your urine stream decides to split, one aiming for the toilet and the other for the floor? I know I do. So I sit down...when I'm at someone else's house, peeing sitting down is the most courteous thing to do. My only exception is in public restrooms. If there is a urinal, I'll use it over a toilet any day because public toilet seats will either get you pregnant or give you impetigo, neither of which are good. Plus I'm lazy, so as Winston Churchill once said "why stand when you can sit?"

My "Social Networking" (a term I can't stand) has been out of control lately, so I killed Twitter and Facebook. Not enough of my friends use Twitter, and I find following people I don't know to be yawntastic. Plus the available clients leave a lot to be desired, and it just felt like IM'ing with a bunch of people I don't know. The service also goes down several times a day, so maybe I will look at it again after they mature a little and become more reliable. My friends and I have IM, text messaging and our own blogs, so why bother? For now I am on most IM services, have my own site, and kept MySpace over Facebook just because of my number of friends there. All told, it's not like I'm a hard guy to reach. :)

My friend Pete Ellison did this for me in the "Hello Kitty" theme. I absolutely love it, and those who know me will attest that this is pretty much how I dress all summer long. And since summer is just around the corner, it's even more relevant to me. Thanks Pete! This will be my new site logo along with some other flash goodies from Pete that will soon be dressing up the home page. Stay tuned!

In other geeky news I finally have a Swatch "Paparazzi" watch that my friend Virginia got me interested in. It's a "Smart Watch" that gets news and information from the internets, telling me the news, weather, movie listings and traffic information for Portland and the world. The only down side is that it uses the MSN Direct service so I had to pay Microsoft $40 for a year of service. Twitch. Once I get the new iPhone that's coming that I probably wont be as fascinated by it but still...it's pretty freakin rad!

Today's post is titled thusly because it's the song currently playing in iTunes. It's by Aimee Mann, of course.

My actual post is about how I seem to have forgotten how to use a fork. Since I am a well known wannabe Asian, I use chopsticks for everything. I own about 10 pairs, ranging from plastic to lacquered wood to some really kick-ass metal ones. I use them all the time, but today when I was about to have lunch I grabbed a fork on a whim and it was weird. It was unwieldy, and I had problems cutting my food. It was rather silly and it amused me greatly. I mentioned my chopstick problem to a friend and he pointed out I shouldn't use them because of deforestation, blah blah blah. In my defense I only use wooden ones in a restaurant if that's what's given to me, otherwise I use my own. When you are dining at a Japanese (or any culture that uses them) restaurant and ask for chopsticks their faces light up, and I think it's the respectful thing to do when dining in such a place. Am I wrong?

I had my first appointment at the dentist today in...well...quite a long time. I don't like dentists. The last time I went to one I had all four wisdom teeth yanked and four cavities filled in, and that's plenty enough to scare me away for a while. It actually wasn't too bad...I got x-rays, a cleaning, and a checkup for nothing out of pocket thanks to my insurance. All in all they said my teeth were "beautiful" and in amazing shape considering how long it's been. So the bad news: I have to go back, TWICE. The first return trip is because my insurance pays for two types of x-rays, but not if they are done on the same day. So Thursday I get to go back and have them finish those and then finish the polishing they started today. After that, I get to go back to address the bad news: three cavities. One is major, in one of my rear molars that's actually cracked, so I'm getting a partial crown there. The other two are minor and should be relatively easy to address. All of this depends on how much it will cost me out of pocket...I will probably get the partial crown first then worry about the others, it all depends on what my insurance provider covers.

For now my jaw is sore from being poked, scraped, vibrated (instruments are all "sonic" these days) and abused. And none of it in a good way. Yeah, I said it.

It's not exactly Spring, but I did a ton of cleaning today. Threw out two full bags of garbage and crap I've been keeping for Xena knows why, and tidied all my storage and paperwork. I sorted through a ton of photos and put some into frames...it was a good feeling to get all that done. I even cleaned off my balcony and discovered the ultimate way to sweep it off without a broom: canned air. Definitely the lazy nerd's approach.

Chloe threw up Friday night and again Saturday for the first time in almost a week, but they seemed hair-ball rather than food related. Just wanted to update you on the cat vomit saga because I KNOW that you were curious.

My mother left me a comment on my last post, but only after she made me promise to delete a photo of her at Christmas that she didn't like. My own mother, blackmailing me...it's shameful, really.

My friend Lance just e-mailed me from his vacation in Greece, telling me that he is in Cyprus and it's eighty degrees and gorgeous. He's going to visit the tombs of Athena and other gods tomorrow, while I go play with fonts. Something about that seems unfairly balanced, or am I just bitter? Shut up!

Yes, I'm about to blog about cat barf.

Chloe has been puking a lot lately, far more than is normal for a cat. I took her to the vet and they couldn't find anything wrong with her, they just shrugged it off to hair-balls. But I, with my advanced degree in pigheadedness, disagreed. See, my darling angel is missing some back teeth. Thusly, she has a habit of swallowing her food whole so when she vomed, it was pure, unchewed food. I mentioned this to the vet of course, but all they said was "switch her food". Fair enough Einstein, so last Tuesday we made the jump. She's now on a super fancy food that has no grains and low carbs, with high protein and real meat as the main ingredient, no by-products or meal. From Tuesday to Saturday she was great, but she vomed in the morning Saturday and again at night. Smaller ones tho, nothing like she used to. To help with the transition I was also feeding her some wet food in the morning, a mixture of tuna and tilapia that she loves. So this morning much to her chagrin I skipped that part, and so far no vom. We'll see how it goes. It's kind of like a science experiment, seeing what combinations of what food will make her yack. Her "new" vomit contains no unchewed bits, so I know she is actually digesting the food. It's a smaller kibble so even if she does swallow it whole, her body can break it down better. And of course, the vom this weekend could have just been the result of her adjusting to the food change. She LOVES this new stuff: I mixed it with her old food at first and she actually picked it out, so I left a dish of the new and the old side by side and she completely ignored the old stuff. Snooty!

In other news, I saw Pete and Alex off to San Francisco Saturday morning. Friday night we met at cBar for drinks and the final going away, then back to his nearly empty apartment for the final farewell, or so I thought. They needed a lift to the u-haul place Saturday and as I had to be up for work, I jumped at the chance to see them again. It's funny how that works: you can have a great friend who lives in the same city, but you might only get to hang out with them maybe once every month or so. But when you find out they are moving, you want to spend as much time as possible with them. I was glad to be able to see them again Saturday, mostly because it kept me from crying when I said goodnight on Friday. So the next day I picked them up and they treated me to coffee, then I drove Pete back to their place to continue packing while I took Alex to the u-haul place. We said our goodbyes on the curb outside his house, under the watchful eye of a drunk hobo who completely ruined the moment, so I managed not to cry. I took Alex to the u-haul place and we said our goodbyes there. Then I drove to work early, sipping the coffee they had bought me as a thank you, and parked at work and walked down to the waterfront to take some pictures. That's when my girlish side caught up with me, and my eye-holes got a little leaky as I reminisced about how I met Pete and all the fun we have had over the years. I will see them again of course, and I wish them nothing but the best, but I am very sad that they are gone.

The Zojirushi just finished cooking some rice and played "Amaranth", which startled Chloe. Let's hope not enough to vom again.

You gotta love them. Out there, doing their thing for their own health and the health of the planet. I get it. I support it. I love riding when I get the chance. But since I moved closer to a major bike artery a year ago, I have seen people doing some crazy shit while riding their bikes, and I'm pretty sure none of them were safe. So in no particular order:

1) Reading
2) Adjusting their iPod. Oops, no, wait, they are WATCHING A MOVIE on it.
3) Smoking
4) Talking on their phone
5) Texting on their phone
6) Holding hands with the person on the bike next to them (I shit you not)
7) Eating
9) Rummaging in their bag/backpack

And finally number 10, the Pièce de résistance that I witnessed today:

10) Eating popcorn AND smoking a cigarette

It takes a special breed of talent to pull that last one off. Smoking and eating biker guy, I salute you.

It was a helluva week, so my apologies in advance for a long and depressing post.

When I was a kid I had a great friend I met in grade school, who lived across the street from me. His name was James. As we grew up we became best friends and went through grade school, junior high, and high school together. We had a lot in common with each other and grew very close, and even came out to each other when we were like 16. He was an amazing person and a great friend, and I treasure the memories of us constantly getting into trouble and pissing off our parents. After high school we lost touch: we both moved a lot, and this was in the age before cell phones and the internet. Eventually James move to Portland with his family, and one weekend he came down for a visit, I think I was 19 or 20. We had a blast and it was great seeing him and reliving old memories. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle, and I almost got us killed when I wasn't "leaning" with him on turns, which seemed completely against my logic when you are already a foot from the pavement. My last memory of him was watching him ride his motorcycle up the street, heading for Portland. When I first moved to Portland it was winter of '95, and when I got the internet (AOL, ugh, I still can't believe that) I tried looking for him but the net was still pretty primitive. I figured that someday I would run into him again here in Portland...I was sure of it.

Recently he came to my mind, and a quick google result gave me some shocking and unexpected news: James had passed away March 29th of 1995, just a few months before I moved here. He was only 26 years old. This really threw me for a loop: granted I haven't seen him in almost 20 years, but in my minds eye he remains a young, full of life 20 year old, and the thought of him dying when I wasn't a part of his life really shook me.

News of his death got me to thinking of another friend of mine from junior high and high school, Derrick. Derrick and I were always up to all kinds of wacky shenanigans, and it was Derrick who introduced me to things like Star Trek and Benny Hill. I was convinced that someday he and I would have our own "morning zoo" style radio show, for we were always creating all kinds of wacky characters and doing mock interviews and stuff and recording them on tape. We also pioneered the pastime of lighting star wars figures on fire and then sliding them down a string from his roof to the backyard lawn while shooting pellet guns at them. Good, safe times. Once in the summer I remember some action figure shrapnel hit a dry patch on the lawn and caught it on fire. We put it out and spray painted the lawn green to try to hide it and as I recall, we succeeded and no one was the wiser.

So being in a nostalgic mood, I did a search for him and was hit with a double whammy: Derrick had died in 2002 at the age of 33 of a cardiac embolism. This was just a bit much for me, and I sat down and had a good cry, and a good conversation with he and James both. It was kinda pathetic, but it was something that made me feel better. I felt like I had to make amends, in a way: this news really shook me. Both of them helped shape my young life, and in no small way contributed to the person I became. Most if not all of my memories of growing up in Eugene center around one or both of them. The idea that they are both dead and gone and that I will never seen them again really stings. I found out where both of them are resting, and I'm going to Eugene one weekend coming up to pay my respects: I feel it's the least that I owe them.

On a side note, while I was typing this entry two friends of mine stopped by unannounced at different times just to say hi. I'm not sure what to read into that, but I'd like to think that perhaps a couple of old acquaintances just sent me a reminder of how precious friendships are, and to keep your friends close and remind them how much you care.

Perhaps.

Years ago in the early 90's, I once told a friend that "computers are something I don't think I should learn, because I can really see myself getting into them". Then she got a Macintosh, I fell in love with it, and the story finishes writing itself. The end.

The same can be said for World of Warcraft, the Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG). I took one look at it when it came out and said no way, I'm not going near that. And I'm proud to say I have been completely successful...until a few weeks ago that is.

It all started with the South Park episode entitled "Make Love, Not Warcraft" that aired last year. I saw it and laughed my ass off and bought it on iTunes, then I would watch it once in a while when I needed a chuckle. But it got me curious about the game...was it really like that? Then came “The Guild”, a webseries on YouTube about a group of online gamers and their lives in and out of the game, and I was sold. I started visiting the WOW home page...then I started reading the game FAQ's and in general studying up on the principle. Being an old Dungeons and Dragons nerd, I rapidly got sucked into it. Then a few weeks ago, I signed up for a free 14 day trial account "just to see".

I didn't stand a chance. Before my 14 day trial could expire, I had upped it to a paid account and purchased a pre-paid card to cover me for the next several months. The game itself is only $40, but it costs $15 a month to play, which is why I resisted the game for so long on that principle alone. My feeling was make the user pay for the game, then let him play it online at no charge. Or GIVE them the game and then charge a monthly fee, but not both. But I finally caved and it's harmless fun so I figured it was worth it and dove in.

And my verdict? It's a real hoot. The cool thing about it is that it's not about people killing other people (tho that is an option, someone can challenge you to a duel but you are free to decline), it's more about finishing quests and having adventures. The battles can be fierce, and many times I have felt my heart pounding and my blood pressure shooting up...the game is pretty realistic, and I've been startled enough to jump in my seat more than once. I started out with a "good" guy (known as the Alliance in the game) and just recently created a "bad" guy (likewise referred to as the Horde) because the two types can't interact in the game, not without bloodshed anyway. When I heard a group of co-workers played I was stoked, but they all had Horde characters so I had to create one to join in. My first character is a human Mage named MirageMonk (an anagram of my name, going back to my D&D days) and my second character is a blood elf named Arachis. I bounce back and fourth, gaining levels and experience for both, and it's a lot of fun. It's a major time vampire as well, so I have to be diligent about checking the clock to make sure I'm not at it too long. I'm still a noob (newbie) to the game but so far I am really enjoying it. And my first rule about playing is that I have to work out first, that way I feel less guilty about sitting at my computer for two hours. I'll post some photo's of my characters soon. My human character looks just like me if I had zero percent body fat, and my blood elf...well...let's just say he wouldn't look out of place on the Castro say about 1982 or so. Tall, lean but muscular, painfully handsome with perfect hair, and the gayest english accent you've ever heard. I deliberately tell him to shoot an arrow at thin air just so I can hear him say "but I dun't have a tahhh-get". I love him!

Now if you'll excuse me I'm needed in the land of Azeroth. My friends...to victory!

I like this look! I might keep it. I will continue to futz around with it a bit but this is an ongoing test, after all. I actually got an e-mail from a reader telling me that my layouts change too often and that I needed to "get serious" and pick one and stick with it or they would stop looking at my site for good. Thanks a lot, mom!

Ever since I started reading manga, watching anime, and studying the language little nuances of Japanese culture are slipping into my life. I find myself doing almost all of my grocery shopping at Uwajimaya. I only seem to listen to J-Pop now, mostly because it helps me with my Japanese lessons but also because I love the sound. I bought a Zojirushi and I'm not even a huge fan of rice. I use Japanese phrases like Kawaii (cute) and Ikimasho (let's go!) a lot. I take my shoes off when I come home. A friend was over recently and I heard her describe my place as "minimalist Japanese chic" to another friend. It's innocent enough for now, but if I ever start wearing kimonos or bathing in public, you have my permission to intervene.

My pal Nathalie was kind enough to point out to me that I had a couple of spelling errors (now fixed) in my previous post. My french friend Nathalie, for whom English is not her first language: that was kind of humbling. I appreciated it of course and as I thanked her I said see, you should never blog drunk! Actually I was probably wired on zero carb Rockstar, that shit makes you see through time itself. We've had it at work in the vending machine for less than a week now (for a buck) and I'm already abusing the privilege.

My latest TV show obsession is Firefly created by Joss Whedon, the man behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I had never seen the show so I watched rips of the first few episodes on vacation and became hooked, so I went out and bought the series and the movie on DVD. That was my resolution for new years, no more pirating. Not that I did a lot of it, believe me. But I deleted all the software I didn't own and all the movies and stuff and now my rule is that if I like it I buy it, something that was not made easier by the writers strike. But I digress: Firefly rocks and is not to be missed, and the show's leading actor, Nathan Fillion, is now my friend on MySpace. Huzzah!

This year's Valentines day was, in two words, fracked up. It started on a good note, having a lovely Thai dinner with Lisa, Tom, and Oliver, then as we left the restaurant a woman outside was hit by a car. Horrible! Good news, she'll be ok. So we went back to their place to calm ourselves with coffee and brownies, and just as we were feeling relaxed...their cat Posha came inside with a newborn baby squirrel in her mouth. Crushed by her jaws and bleeding, the poor thing didn't even have fur or it's eyes open yet. It was awful, horrible, and tragic. Everyone was screaming and freaking out but for some reason I was rather blase about it. Lisa complemented me later (?) by saying "of all the people I know you are the last person I expected to remain calm during that". She's seen me at my worst too, so that's saying a lot. The evening did end on another good note, getting to see my pal Virginia do stand up and Holman's, and she rocked the house as always.

A bizarre evening bookended by great things with a violent, tragic center filling. I'm hoping that next year, Valentines day will be more about the loving and less about the dying. Werd.

The Byte is back! I'm back to a different theme, one I had before. I liked the last one, but it was TOO skinny. I'll keep hammering at this one for a while. The background is a photo I took at Vista House, looking down a stone wall.

So what's up with that name? I was digging through some boxes of stuff I had in storage and found all of my old Dungeons and Dragons gear. My old dice, the little pewter figurines that I painted for all of my characters, my Monster Manual, all of it. Talk about memory lane. Anyway I found some character sheets for my different characters and had to chuckle. Their names are mostly things like "Stormbringer" (Paladin), "Faltorr" (Bard) "Niccia" (Druid) and my main man "Brighton" (Fighter/Magic User)...and then there was Johnny. As my rusting memory recalls, Johnny was my "throw away" character we would bring on quests to throw first into dangerous situations, essentially a red shirt for the D&D crowd. But that name...I have to admit, 15 year old Mike was kind of clever. If I had a scanner I would scan it for you to see. Wait, why don't I have a scanner, aren't I supposed to be a geek? Anyway it's such a trip seeing and reading things I wrote almost twenty-five years ago that I curled up with all of it and spent an enjoyable evening relearning a little bit about myself. In the end I had all their figures lined up and decided that they kinda looked like the Village People. Yes even back then, there were signs.

I've become hooked on a TV show called Torchwood, a British show spun off from the new Dr. Who. I haven't even seen Dr. Who, just Torchwood, because all the geeks at work were being all geeky about it and I got pulled into the geek vortex. Now I'm hooked, and I can't seem to stop speaking in a British accent. Think of it like an X-Files but with a dash of British sci-fi camp and lots of sex and you have a good idea. And I've never seen more same sex snogging in all my life: boy on boy, girl on girl, you name it. The lead actor is gay in real life and bi on the show, not to mention totally dishy and I would gladly give him a right shagging, I tell you. How could I not love this show? And British TV programs get to use ALL the swear words in existence and it's totally cool. In an episode I watched last night they used the phrase "fuck buddy" and I had to giggle. I think the network censors (if there are any) have popped 'round to the pup for a pint instead of doing their jobs. Blimey, see what I mean?

Tuesday night I ate an entire fucking lasagna for dinner. I blame it entirely on this site, as I spent most of Monday evening watching those videos and asking "WTF" a lot. Anyway, it wasn't one of the big normal sized ones but one of those smaller ones. It was still labeled "Family Size". Whose family, Thumbelina's? Anyway, my body completely betrayed me that night. I had been so good all day: breakfast was a zero carb rockstar and oatmeal. Lunch was a salad with a chicken breast on top. Snacks throughout the day were wheat thins and Crystal Light. I drank water all day. I peed all day. I was so proud. Then I got home and was so hungry I was ready to eat my own arm off. So I popped in the lasagna and 90 minutes later I was having an Italian orgy of the meat and cheese variety. I started out having half, which is what I consider a normal sized portion, then after that I moseyed back into the kitchen and cut the remaining piece in half and took one part of that. I got ten steps back to the table when I whipped around and went back for the other quarter...I guess I know myself too well. I had nothing to wash it down with so I drank a small glass of the only cold thing I had...half and half. I know, I'm not proud but hey it's all I had. I felt so white trash I had to laugh at myself a little. Then I had to shoo Chloe out of the room, as she was gazing at me with judgement in her eyes. I've seen what she eats and she has NO room to brag. Afterwards, since I cut out the ciggies and hadn't quite hit rock bottom yet I rewarded myself with a reeses peanut butter cup. That's when I thought to myself this is it...they are going to find me on the toilet like Elvis tomorrow morning, I just know it.

Oh hai, I haz a new theme, let me show you it! I kinda like this actually, and I've only just started customizing it. The background image is mine and will change depending on my mood. I made the title bar transparent like in OS X Leopard. There is no more sidebar so instead links to all my favorite sites are in their own links section on the left. That's also where I will be experimenting with a plugin called "blocks". Schnazzy! It will change a bit but all in all I plan to stick with this one for a while. If a page doesn't look quite right due to formatting rest assured faithful reader, it will soon enough.

My Christmas started off with a bang...literally. When I arrived in Cottage Grove Christmas eve, that day one of my parents cows has slipped in the mud and broken it's back. She was still alive but of course in shock and pain, and my stepdad had no choice but to put her out of her misery. Then came the question of what to do with her: she couldn't be processed for meat because once an animal is in distress adrenaline will flood it system, thus tainting the meat. I was informed of this by my stepdad the hunter very nonchalantly, like it was something that I of course already knew, so I nodded a bit and did the "yep, yep" head bob. So she had to be buried...with a backhoe. In the rain. In the 32 degree rain. As the project was finishing up it became apparent that her legs, which were sticking straight up thanks to rigor mortis, weren't going to fit. So off they went with the help of my stepdads trusty chainsaw. Happy birthday, Jesus! When I got up to the house my mom thanked me for helping my stepdad through the ordeal, but before I could sigh heavily and say something about it being no trouble he piped up "what for, he didn't do anything except stand around with his hand over his mouth making noises!" Hey, I never claimed to be manly, so pipe down.

Christmas morning my camera, which had just been "repaired" by Canon the week before broke again, so I only got off a few photos. My christmas present to myself? A new camera. I had a wonderful Christmas day with the rents, then came home to Portland. Thanks to our outdoor shenanigans I ended up getting a cold later in the week, and my stepdad pneumonia, but he's recovered now. I missed New Years Eve completely thanks to said cold, and thanks to the camera fiasco I have only a few photos of the whole holiday. They start with pics of Homero's awesome gingerbread house making party, a few of my folks, and one of the first shots I took with the new camera off my balcony at night with a delayed exposure.