This section is where I will review Asian snack foods. I will also be reviewing a variety of household products and foods from other countries as well, but primarily I'm focusing on Japanese products because as many of you know I have a healthy obsession with the land of the rising sun. Pretty much anything I find at Uwajimaya or Fubon is fair game so if you live in the Portland, Oregon metro area and see something you think you might like, I encourage you to go out and experiment for yourselves. Or if you have tips on new things for me to try, shoot me an e-mail. The look might change now and then as I figure out the best formatting for the page. I use a one to five star rating, five being the best and one being oh dear god run for your life. Comments and feedback are always welcome, so lets get started...Itadaki-masu!

Price: $.99
Maker: Meiji
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

Why am I even reviewing this? It’s chocolate filling inside a chocolate cookie so just eat it! These come in four flavors that I have seen: chocolate inside chocolate, chocolate inside vanilla, vanilla inside vanilla and strawberry inside vanilla. This shit is delicious. Each is about the size and shape of those little samples of lubricant you get at the free clinic. And all you whores knew exactly what I was talking about the second you read that, so don’t get all high and mighty on me and pretend you don’t know.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $1.39
Maker: Kameda
Rating: ✭✭✭✭

I really love these. They are small, super crunchy, and pack a lot of Wasabi heat that sneaks up on your slowly. Lots of people make these and I have tried a few different brands, but these taste the best to my unrefined Western palette. They make a snack size that comes with plain raw peanuts mixed in and those are even better, but I have only found them a couple of times. Just don’t do what I tried once, and that was to pour a whole lot of them in your mouth at the same time...that was a serious mistake I don’t intend to repeat anytime soon.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $1.89
Maker: Nara
Rating: - one billion ✭’s

Two words: Never Again

If you have ever wondered what it was like to drink a cup of cold frog’s eggs, Nara has a treat in store for you, my sick friend. The flavor of the water wasn’t actually bad, it was sweet and honey flavored as advertised, but the sensation of drinking down the ova of our amphibian friends or a cluster of moldy hamster turds was just too much. Eww, ick, nasty, never again, fuck I can’t believe I drank that.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $2.89
Maker: Furuta
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

I fracking love these! Keep in mind for almost $3 you get a measly 12 of these, but thay are delicious! Basically a eggy custard kind of cookie, they are light and crisp and made of delicious. They sound like a Japanese pronunciation of “Fruit” so maybe that’s why I like them, who knows.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $2.19
Maker: ?????
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

This is one of my all time favorites: tiny folded cookies coated in sugar and ginger. Think of a small fortune cookie with a little bit of sweet and a little bit of spice: a giant frosted flake, if you will. This is one of the first things from Japan I ever tried, from one of my first trips to Uwajimaya ever. Picture it, Portland, 2002. A newly born Otaku Mike arrives back home from his first trip to Uwajimaya, nomming on these while watching his first Inuyasha DVD on his trusty eMac. That was six years ago and I still buy them every trip. If they don’t have them on the shelf, I ask them to check in back. I have seen a couple of knock-offs of this brand, some with the cookies left flat and others where they are rolled up, but none taste quite like these. Someone told me once that they ate these in a bowl with milk...egads.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $2.39
Maker: Suntory
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

Another of my favorites from Suntory. It’s hard to describe the flavor of this. It’s a small carbonated drink, but the flavor is more like...lemons. Kindof. It’s another energy/vitamin C drink that’s extremely popular in Japan, and you can even get it in candy form, tho I’ve only found that once. Really, really yummy. This photo makes it look larger than it is: it’s actually about 6” tall, and in a glass bottle to boot. Buy it if you see it.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $2.49
Maker: ??????
Rating: ✭✭

The woman on the cover of this, who appears to be modeled after a generic 50’s pinup girl, looked so excited about this I had to try it. It’s from the “Super” line, which means “painfully sour” and it lives up to the name. Painful being the operative word here. Really. Sour. Lemon. My ass even puckered when I had my first one...this is defenitely not for the timid. About the only redeeming use I can see for this is the comedy that will ensue when you watch your friend’s reactions when they try it. After you get over the sour coating, it’s plain lemon flavored candy. Fun to try once, but nothing I will every buy again, unless it’s for someone I don’t like.


The graphic on the back of the package, however, made it a worthwhile purchase:

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $1.99
Maker: Suntory
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

Suntory can do no wrong in my book, and Barley tea is one of my favorites, so this was a hands down win. I started chugging the bottle when I remembered to take the pic, hence some is missing. It's that good, I couldn't wait! If you've never had barley tea, I highly recommend it. Meant only to be served cold, it's the best thing you can drink on a warm day. Very cool, clean, light barley flavor. But man, does it ever make you pee like a stallion. Despite having no caffeine in it it's a powerful diuretic so I don't recommend taking it along on hikes...trust! If you are curious about the flavor, the closest I can think of is the taste of the milk left in your bowl after some cheerios. You can get this in bags at the store as well, and it's much more economical to brew it yourself. Try some this summer and I bet you'll be as hooked as I am.

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $3.49
Maker: Royal Family Food
Rating: ✭✭

These sounded like a good idea in principle. Chocolate smothered marshmallow cakes with a "coffee" flavored center. How could it go wrong?

Well, it did...a total train wreck. The chocolate is cheap and waxy, the marshmallow was chewy rather than soft, and the "coffee flavor" left a lot to be desired. I think they used gas station coffee that had been sitting around a week, boiled and reduced several times until it tasted like asphalt. The packaging was pretty, with a thick rope handle, but they also came individually wrapped...a big no-no in my book for tiny little treats (the are each about the size of a silver dollar). They weren't inedible (I ate the whole box in the course of a week) but in the end I was glad to get rid of them. I wanted to like them, I really did...who can mess up coffee and chocolate? Apparently these guys can, but they do make some other flavors so I'll give them one more shot. Pseudo coffee flavored goo might be harder to make than I think...

Found at: Uwajimaya
Price: $.49 each
Maker: Sapporo
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

As Ramen goes, this is one of my favorites. Once I bought an entire case of it at Uwajimaya because they offer a 10% discount if you do. It's practically vegan from the ingredients, so don't let the "Chicken" flavoring throw off you animal lovers. Cooks very fast and the flavoring isn't too strong with just one seasoning packet per pouch. I used to make two of these at a time, until I read that one package is two servings, which meant I was eating four servings, which meant I was being a total pig. So now I just have one, but I will add some cubed tofu or steamed broccoli thrown on top.

Found at: Uwajimaya & Fubon
Price: $1.79
Maker: Calbee
Rating: ✭

These taste pretty much as you would expect. Assuming you expect pouring bad garlic flavoring on the filthiest fishing wharf you could find, then licking it up. In all seriousness these taste like what a can of tropical fish food smells like, only with garlic. Yeah, yummy. After the first few you start to notice the fish taste less and less as it becomes overpowered by the MSG and the garlic and the PAIN. By the time you reach the bottom of the bag, they should be additionally flavored with your tears...mine certainly were, and I never even finished it.

Found at: Fubon
Price: $2.49
Maker: Unknown
Rating: ✭✭✭✭✭

This is very yummy stuff...has a strong Lemon flavor thats really tasty, therefore you can drink it really really fast if you aren't careful. It does give a noticeable pick-me-up energy wise, and with 5000 MG of Vitamin C in each one (2500 MG per serving, this counts as two for tiny, tiny people) it's a great thing to drink when you are feeling a cold coming on. It used to be at Uwajimaya all the time but now it's a rarity there, however you can almost always find it at Fubon. And less face it...wouldn't we all love a pair of Energy Boots?